Why would anyone want to do this!?

Rainbow at Oil Creek. Photo by Jeremy Lock/Legion Photo

 I had the opportunity this week to speak with a reporter doing a story about the Oil Creek 100. He is interviewing several runners from all levels running Saturday. This was his last question:

Last, but not least, what the heck is wrong with you?! Why would anyone want to do this to themselves?

I have thought about this question a lot. It resounds like a drum especially during difficult runs. I did my best to answer the question.  After giving it much more thought and doing my best to honestly and openly answer it this is the best I can do.This is why I enjoy running 100 miles ... or longer.

 During every long run I experience an extreme feeling of spiritual awareness. Running 100 miles, and training for a run that long, makes me feel closer to God. Sometimes the experience is indescribable. The Oil Creek 100 last year defined me. It wasn't just the race itself. It was dreaming of completing it, the long runs preparing for it, the fears and doubts I had to face to overcome it, and finally crossing the finish line and hugging my wife who helped me so much through the journey. It was knowing in that moment that my life would never be the same. Ultimately, the entire experience was relationship building with God because I let it slip away. I became comfortable in my life and forgot what it felt like to know God as a friend. He had become a thought and not a relationship. He had become a big question mark and sadly something or someone to point a finger at for all the wars, sadness and misery in the world. He was no longer a friend. He was just a word and that word was religion. I can remember the EXACT moment I turned away from God. I was at Ground Zero about a month after 9/11. I was there for four months day and night after the towers fell. I was assigned there for my job. It wasn't the horrific things I saw there that changed me. I saw hope and love there also. It was my fellow Christians handing out pamphlets at the gates to the firemen going to work to find their friends in the rubble. The Christians would scream from the gate "If you died today would you go to heaven or hell?" It broke my heart. Crushed my spirit and destroyed my faith. I began to question every experience I had with God. And I began to slip away. Since that day, I can count on one hand how many times I have stepped in a church.  I don't know when it happened exactly but while running I began thinking about God. Ironically, I began running because I developed breathing problems from my time at Ground Zero. A pulmonary test showed that my air intake was the same as a 96 year old person. So I began running. And I began remembering. On my runs I thought about God.  I was brought back to a time in my life when I put all of myself into the words of God that say this - If you seek Me with all your heart and all your soul then you will find Me.  So I decided to run 100 miles. I decided that I wanted to seek again and there was something crazy romantic and beautiful to me about looking for God while trying to achieve something that I did not feel was possible. The rest of the story, well like I said, defines me. These are the words from the note section of my phone that I wrote lying in bed before falling asleep after finishing Oil Creek last year:

Remember. Over time, you begin to question faith. You forget this. Here, now. God is real, there is no question. He showed you today. Remember.
What happened today was about trust. God revealed himself. There is no doubt. 100 percent I believe. God was with me today. I am His.
I must remember.

The words Oil Creek will always remind me of what it feels like to be a kid again. Running, dreaming and dancing on trails with tears in my eyes and my arms in the air.  Care free and happy. Simply spending time with my friend.

Come Saturday. We run.

Virgil Crest 50 and thoughts on returning to the Oil Creek 100

Making my way back to my hotel room after completing the Oil Creek 100 in 2009.

I had an amazing run this morning. It was one of those runs when everything just feels right and I remember why I love to move my feet. It came at just the right time as I am now tapering for the Oil Creek 100. I can't believe it's 10 days away.  Last weekend I ran the Virgil Crest 50 Mile Ultra (51.4 to be exact) as my last long run and man that run kicked my ass. It was one of the toughest runs I have ever done. My hats off to those brave souls who completed the 100. One section of the course was straight up a black diamond ski slope with a 14% incline. Having to face this ski slope section twice during the 50 mile was tough. Having to face it four times during the 100 is a real test of courage. Never mind the fact that one of the hardest sections of the course is right after it. There was 10,000 feet of climb during the Virgil Crest 50 Mile and I felt like all day for 16 hours I was going up. One of the hardest parts of the race was the incredible inclines. Some sections had ropes to help pull you up. If you are looking for a technical and challenging but incredibly beautiful ultra with awesome aid stations, volunteers and a great race director put Virgil Crest on your list. I'm sure I will be back to run it but it's also on my bucket list of races to photograph due to how beautiful the course is. I will have great memories of running with 1st time 50 Mile finisher Jim Porter. We motivated each other and kept each other company. Jim felt amazing the whole race while having to listen to me bitch about blisters that arrived at mile five and got worse with each passing mile. Hydropel on feet before putting on Drymax socks? Nope. Not for me. Lesson learned the painful way.  Blisters are my major concern right now going into Oil Creek and this week alone I returned three pairs of new running shoes and bought 10 new pairs of socks. It's been hard to think about anything but Oil Creek. It seems to be the first thing on my mind in the morning and must be at night since my dreams are filled with the trails or visions of me frantically running to the starting line because my alarm didn't go off and realizing in my panic that I forgot my running shorts.
It is going to be very strange going back to Oil Creek. I have done plenty of ultras since but every step of training and running Oil Creek was like chasing a dream.  Finishing your first 100 miler is simply unreal. I do not know if it can ever be explained. This will be my first time revisiting a 100 mile ultra and that thought scares the crap out of me. The first time, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was running 100 miles. I just did not know that it would be with enough time to earn the buckle I see on my wall now. I am always chasing the cut off times. Speed has never been my friend.  Signing up for Oil Creek again was a difficult decision. My inability to lose weight was almost a show stopper because I had dreams of doing this ultra and actually feeling like a runner. I'm back to reality and moving forward relentlessly with the hopes of being a finisher.  In many ways, I am scared to death of losing my memories from the first experience. To be perfectly honest, I am also afraid of it not being special. Of it being, well different, and just not the same as I remember. I guess no race or experience ever is.
I remember how I felt at Virgil Crest. I viewed the race as my last long run and when I described what it was like to my wife I said it was like "work". I was simply getting it done so I can earn the buckle again at Oil Creek and hopefully have some fun and memories while doing so. I went into Virgil Crest with very tired legs from a 40 mile run the weekend before. I felt heavy and tired.  But for about 15 minutes at Virgil Crest it was so much more than that. For 15 minutes during that race I ran with tears in my eyes and the feeling in my heart that I was doing exactly what I was born to do. I was running surrounded by beauty all around me and I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be at that moment.  I rounded a corner and saw my wife and my daughter in the distance and the beautiful fall leaves with the wonderful cool air filling my lungs and in that moment I felt amazingly alive. I felt like God was smiling. I felt free. I felt blessed to be there. I felt completely  synchronized with everything around me and blissfully happy. It was BEAUTIFUL. Those moments now are fewer and fewer and some runs don't have that feeling at all. There was a time I felt that way stepping out my door for a run. . That's how I felt training for Oil Creek and Brazil 135. That's how I felt running those races. Since then it hasn't been all mountain tops. It's been a lot of lonely long runs where I would hope for five or ten minutes of what I described. I had 15 minutes of that at Virgil Crest. The reality is if I can have one minute of that feeling at Oil Creek I would run the race backwards. Some people ask me how I can run all day alone sometimes for ten or twelve hours and that feeling is why. It's always out there and sometimes more than once. Sometimes it stays for hours. But it's a feeling that must be found and it's harder and harder to come by.  It's a feeling that can not be described. The best I can do is to say there are moments when I run that I feel connected to God and without a shadow of a doubt I know He is real. There are moments when I know He turns his head toward me and smiles. Sometimes I feel if I run deep enough inside myself I will feel God stand up because He is so moved by our moments together. That's when I will start to fly.

Thanks for stopping by.

34 Days until Oil Creek 100

On the trail at the Oil Creek 100. Photo by Jeremy Lock

With my second attempt at the Oil Creek 100 mile ultra marathon 34 short days I had hoped to be at a place now where I feel somewhat prepared both mentally and physically for the challenge that I know is coming. As in the past, I have trained very, very hard for this race. It's been the dominant thought in my head for more than four months and I have been more disciplined with my training than ever before. My diet has never been more healthy and I have never been more strict with the food I put in my mouth. After the first month I was very surprised to see the scale not move at all. After the second month with no weight loss while burning twice or three times the calories I started to become concerned. Now, with four months of strict dieting and training behind me, I find myself at the same weight. I have been diagnosed with a thyroid condition. I have always been overweight. I am currently 30 pounds heavier than I feel I should be and I feel my entire life has been a struggle to get there. I can't remember anytime in my life when I have not struggled with being overweight. No matter how strict my calorie intake is, no matter the amount of countless hours I train, my weight does not move. If I stop my diet or take anytime off of training,  my weight quickly climbs. It's been the most difficult challenge of my ultra marathon training. I admit, on more times than I can count I have wanted to quit. I almost did not run the Brazil 135 Mile ultra marathon because I could not lose any weight during my training. I ran that race 25 pounds overweight and I felt every extra pound while I ran for 57 hours and 50 minutes. I swore it would be the last time I ran overweight. But, here I am again, running fat, for countless miles every week while also spending hours a week on the stair master and elliptical machine. It doesn't seem fair. But, what in life ever is? I can't remember anything ever being easy. Everything has to be more difficult than it should be. Everything is a climb. I'm thankful that the extra weight hasn't caused any injuries. Every part of me takes a pounding on the trails and currently my long runs are longer than marathons once a week. Last week I ran 45 miles on Sunday during the Labor Pains 12 hour ultra marathon. I was careful with everything I ate before, during and after the race. I gained two pounds.

I'm hoping the thyroid medication is going to be the answer I have been looking for and I can finally get myself to a healthy acceptable weight I can live with. I'm currently 13 pounds heavier than I was for Oil Creek last year which was the only time in my life i successful lost weight. It seems my body has adapted to the training and refuses to budge. It holds onto everything. I have dreamed of running on trails and feeling healthy as I do it. I never have. I have always waited for the change to finally arrive. 

I began training for Oil Creek with the mindset of becoming faster than I have ever been before. To finish the 100 miles with a time that would even surprise myself. Today, with 34 days until the race I am hoping to simply finish.  That was a goal that once seemed impossible to me. I ran on faith and arrived at the finish line and it was a moment that changed my life. I'm working hard to know that feeling again. 

Vermont 100 Mile Endurance Run

I was terribly disappointed when I injured myself and could not run the Vermont 100. I was glad however that sitting the race out meant I could revisit a personal photography project I am passionate about. The project is a series of portraits of 100 miler runners at mile 0 and less than five minutes after crossing the finish line. My assistant Doug Stroud and I stayed awake for a total of 33 hours to capture images from the course and to be set up and ready to shoot after portraits 15 short hours after the race start at 4 a.m.We shot around 130 before and after portraits and ended up with a total of seven selects that I feel are strong enough to add to the series.
The ever talented and amazing Drew Geraci created a fantastic multimedia of the race. Check it out here! 

Running Hope Through America

 Lisa Smith-Batchen and Sister Mary Beth Llyod the day before their epic journey for children in need.

I'm still amazed and I am sure I always be when I think about what my friend and running coach Lisa Smith-Batchen has accomplished. If you are inspired by her accomplishment please consider supporting Running Hope Through America and help make a difference for the children Lisa runs for. 

 ---

Top Runner Completes Record Cross-Country Journey

Lisa Smith-Batchen Conquers 50 Miles in 50 States...In 62 Days


The numbers alone are staggering: 2500 miles, 50 states, 62 days, 3 airline flights, 15 pair of shoes, and roughly 8 million footsteps. But however it's measured, one thing is for certain--Lisa Smith-Batchen's quest, named Running Hope Through America, has been successfully completed.

“I never strayed from the plan or the commitment to complete this mission. It’s been an amazing journey,” said Lisa upon completing the run in her hometown of Driggs, Idaho.

The ultramarathon champion, a veteran of extreme foot races worldwide, has multiple race wins to her credit. But nothing could prepare her--physically or mentally--for the strain that she faced during this recent cross-country odyssey. Logistics often demanded that she finish the day's 50 miles, jump into her support RV, and eke out a few hours of sleep en route to the next state. Crushing fatigue threatened to derail her efforts, but Lisa was undeterred from accomplishing her record-setting goal.

The beneficiary of Lisa's superhuman effort, Religious Teachers Filippini--a human-rights organization devoted to helping the poorest children and women survive--has received financial support from Lisa that tallies over $800,000 in the past five years alone. Using epic desert runs and bicycle rides, Lisa has inspired thousands of donors to support orphans and families affected by the worldwide AIDS crisis, malnutrition, poverty, and war.

For Running Hope Through America, the fundraising bar was raised substantially--to a goal of $1 million. Helping her accomplish that goal was Sister Mary Beth Lloyd, one of Lisa's support crew and longtime friend. Sister Mary Beth, who herself ran 20 miles each day during Lisa's journey, is a member of the Religious Teachers Filippini organization and served as one of Lisa's biggest supporters.

A crew of 4 kept Lisa on schedule and provided food, beverages, massages, and moral support. Along the route, countless people joined Lisa--some to accompany her on foot, and others to help raise funds and awareness for the needs of orphans.

While final fundraising tallies are not yet totaled, the goal of raising $1 million will continue, through the work of Lisa’s organization, The Dreamchaser Foundation. “People are seeing the goodness behind helping a child, and even a dollar
makes a difference...and every one of us can make a difference,” says Lisa.

“This is definitely the most difficult undertaking I’ve ever done, and I can’t imagine I’ll take on anything more difficult. But at the end of the day, I feel absolute joy in
the entire purpose of this,” Lisa explains. “The greatest lesson is we are all in this together. Each one of us is equally important and equally gifted individuals. When you figure out your talents and motivations, and go for it, magic happens.”

To learn more about Lisa, her compelling success story, and Running Hope Through America, see www.RunHope.com and www.dreamchaserevents.com.

About Lisa Smith-Batchen
Lisa's athletic resume includes a mind-boggling list of triathlons, marathons, ultra-marathons, and adventure races that span two decades. Wins at the legendary Badwater Ultramarathon (135 miles through California's Mojave Desert) and the Marathon des Sables (6-day stage race across Morocco's Sahara Desert) top her list of running achievements. Eleven years after her Badwater debut, she decided to double the standard race distance, and is now the only woman to have completed the "Badwater Double,” also known as the "Death Valley 300.” In addition, Lisa has completed three Eco-Challenge (expedition-length) adventure races and multiple Ironman-distance triathlons and ultracycling (500+ mile) events.

Lisa's accomplishments in the fundraising arena mirror her success in sport. To date, she has raised over $4.5 million for Religious Teachers Filippini.

Stories about Lisa's achievements have appeared on the covers of The NY Times, The LA Times, The Washington Post, Running Times Magazine. Additionally, she has appeared in Runner’s World, Sports Illustrated for Women, ESPN Magazine, Outside Magazine, Ultrarunning and numerous other national and international publications. Television coverage has included segments on ESPN, Discovery Channel, ABC’s Wide World of Sports, NBC’s Nightly News with Tom Brokaw and Good Morning America.

Contact: Lisa Smith-Batchen at 307-413-2227 or lisa@dreamchaserevents.com

You can find my photography blog over here

I've made some changes and moved my photography blog. You can find that blog over here.
http://blog.tomsperduto.com/http://blog.tomsperduto.com/

This blog is about my life as an ultramarathon runner seeking on the trails.
I hope you enjoy.

Lessons from Umstead

       Iphone pick shot the day before the Umstead 100 in Raleigh, NC

I have thought a lot about the Umstead 100 mile endurance run over the last two months. Umstead was my first DNF (did not finish) and it has been haunting me. I have been told by many experienced ultra runners that if you do this sport long enough you will DNF. I have also been told by many that they are part of the experience of ultra running. The thing about Umstead that keeps nagging at me is the simple truth that I could have kept running. I was battling some bad stomach issues from the beginning of the race and it was that excuse I used when I finally called it quits at mile 62. To be honest, It was probably more like mile 50 or so when I called it quits in my mind. The memory I will carry with me most from Umstead was how I convinced myself to quit. I was not feeling well, I was freezing, I had blisters again, I could not remember being even half as tired in Brazil at mile 120 as I was at mile 50, no matter how hard I trained I was still 20 pounds to heavy for this race. I was adding up all the reasons in my mind and making a case for myself to quit.  The one that sealed the deal for me was the one that bothers me most. I did not have anything to prove. I ran 135 miles in Brazil, I sprinted to make the final cutoff at the Oil Creek 100, it's ok to drop from this one. There will be others. Today is just not my day. I remember the last six miles or so to the aid station where my car was.  Some of the longest miles of my life. My mind knew the race was over and mentally I was in a different place. I know from the experience that once I quit in my mind it's game over. There is no going back. When I told the race volunteer that I was dropping I was humiliated. I knew I could keep going. So did he. I just did not want to. I remember watching runners from the warmth of my car before heading back to the hotel. I cried. I could not remember why I was there. I couldn't remember why I wasn't still running.

There is a memory from running the Oil Creek 100 I will never forget. A runner told me around mile 70 he was dropping at the next aid station. He said he was done. It just wasn't his day.  I couldn't understand it at the time. I remember thinking  to myself vividly "They will cart me away before I quit this race. There will be nothing of me. I will not quit."

I have learned many things from Umstead.


If I  can keep moving forward, I will. If I DNF ever again it will be for a reason I can live with.


So all in all I am glad I ran Umstead. I needed the lessons. I needed the experience.


I will run Umstead again. But, there will never, ever, be another Umstead.