Lessons from Umstead

       Iphone pick shot the day before the Umstead 100 in Raleigh, NC

I have thought a lot about the Umstead 100 mile endurance run over the last two months. Umstead was my first DNF (did not finish) and it has been haunting me. I have been told by many experienced ultra runners that if you do this sport long enough you will DNF. I have also been told by many that they are part of the experience of ultra running. The thing about Umstead that keeps nagging at me is the simple truth that I could have kept running. I was battling some bad stomach issues from the beginning of the race and it was that excuse I used when I finally called it quits at mile 62. To be honest, It was probably more like mile 50 or so when I called it quits in my mind. The memory I will carry with me most from Umstead was how I convinced myself to quit. I was not feeling well, I was freezing, I had blisters again, I could not remember being even half as tired in Brazil at mile 120 as I was at mile 50, no matter how hard I trained I was still 20 pounds to heavy for this race. I was adding up all the reasons in my mind and making a case for myself to quit.  The one that sealed the deal for me was the one that bothers me most. I did not have anything to prove. I ran 135 miles in Brazil, I sprinted to make the final cutoff at the Oil Creek 100, it's ok to drop from this one. There will be others. Today is just not my day. I remember the last six miles or so to the aid station where my car was.  Some of the longest miles of my life. My mind knew the race was over and mentally I was in a different place. I know from the experience that once I quit in my mind it's game over. There is no going back. When I told the race volunteer that I was dropping I was humiliated. I knew I could keep going. So did he. I just did not want to. I remember watching runners from the warmth of my car before heading back to the hotel. I cried. I could not remember why I was there. I couldn't remember why I wasn't still running.

There is a memory from running the Oil Creek 100 I will never forget. A runner told me around mile 70 he was dropping at the next aid station. He said he was done. It just wasn't his day.  I couldn't understand it at the time. I remember thinking  to myself vividly "They will cart me away before I quit this race. There will be nothing of me. I will not quit."

I have learned many things from Umstead.


If I  can keep moving forward, I will. If I DNF ever again it will be for a reason I can live with.


So all in all I am glad I ran Umstead. I needed the lessons. I needed the experience.


I will run Umstead again. But, there will never, ever, be another Umstead.