You can find my photography blog over here

I've made some changes and moved my photography blog. You can find that blog over here.
http://blog.tomsperduto.com/http://blog.tomsperduto.com/

This blog is about my life as an ultramarathon runner seeking on the trails.
I hope you enjoy.

Lessons from Umstead

       Iphone pick shot the day before the Umstead 100 in Raleigh, NC

I have thought a lot about the Umstead 100 mile endurance run over the last two months. Umstead was my first DNF (did not finish) and it has been haunting me. I have been told by many experienced ultra runners that if you do this sport long enough you will DNF. I have also been told by many that they are part of the experience of ultra running. The thing about Umstead that keeps nagging at me is the simple truth that I could have kept running. I was battling some bad stomach issues from the beginning of the race and it was that excuse I used when I finally called it quits at mile 62. To be honest, It was probably more like mile 50 or so when I called it quits in my mind. The memory I will carry with me most from Umstead was how I convinced myself to quit. I was not feeling well, I was freezing, I had blisters again, I could not remember being even half as tired in Brazil at mile 120 as I was at mile 50, no matter how hard I trained I was still 20 pounds to heavy for this race. I was adding up all the reasons in my mind and making a case for myself to quit.  The one that sealed the deal for me was the one that bothers me most. I did not have anything to prove. I ran 135 miles in Brazil, I sprinted to make the final cutoff at the Oil Creek 100, it's ok to drop from this one. There will be others. Today is just not my day. I remember the last six miles or so to the aid station where my car was.  Some of the longest miles of my life. My mind knew the race was over and mentally I was in a different place. I know from the experience that once I quit in my mind it's game over. There is no going back. When I told the race volunteer that I was dropping I was humiliated. I knew I could keep going. So did he. I just did not want to. I remember watching runners from the warmth of my car before heading back to the hotel. I cried. I could not remember why I was there. I couldn't remember why I wasn't still running.

There is a memory from running the Oil Creek 100 I will never forget. A runner told me around mile 70 he was dropping at the next aid station. He said he was done. It just wasn't his day.  I couldn't understand it at the time. I remember thinking  to myself vividly "They will cart me away before I quit this race. There will be nothing of me. I will not quit."

I have learned many things from Umstead.


If I  can keep moving forward, I will. If I DNF ever again it will be for a reason I can live with.


So all in all I am glad I ran Umstead. I needed the lessons. I needed the experience.


I will run Umstead again. But, there will never, ever, be another Umstead.

Photographing Running Heroes

      Lisa Smith Batchen and her best friend and Godmother Sister Mary Beth Llyod in Morristown,      NJ,  the day before they begin their "Running Hope Through America" journey of 50 miles in 50 states in 62 states to raise money for needy children.


I had the opportunity to photograph portraits my friends Lisa Smith Batchen and Sister Mary Beth Llyod the day before they began the journey of a lifetime and something that has never been done before. Running 50 miles in 50 states in 62 days.

     Lisa Smith Batchen - one of the world's top endurance athletes.

Sister Mary Beth Llyod - "the running nun" and a woman on an international mission to help children orphaned by AIDS and living in households headed by children. 

 
To support Lisa and Sister Mary Beth and to help the children please visit: http://www.runhope.com

Thanks for stopping by. 

The Brazil 135 - My Journey on the Path of Faith

                            A view from Eagles Peak the highest point in the race

For two days I have been thinking about what to write that could express just how I feel about completing the Brazil 135 Mile Ultra Marathon. The experience has changed my life. When I think about the race, I remember the mountains but they are not first in my mind. What I will always remember first is the relationships. I will remember the love.

First and foremost, I am proud that TEAM USA all finished the race while raising more than $15,000 to support Casa Nossa, a local mission that serves homeless and low-income girls, helping to educate them, teach them productive skills and keep them off the streets and safe from prostitution, crime and drugs. The funds will pay for the construction of a gymnasium to be used for education and sports activities.

I was fortunate to have in my opinion one of the world’s greatest endurance runners and two time winner of the Brazil Jungle Marathon, Jacqueline Terto, as my pacer for the race. She did not speak English. I did not speak one word of Portuguese. During the 57 hours and 50 minutes it took us to travel the 135 miles we became more than friends. We developed a bond beyond words because we didn’t need them.  We are both the same and we knew each other’s hearts. I will always remember crying on the trail in the middle of the night. Both of my feet completely covered in blisters. I will remember Jacqueline praying for my feet and us moving forward – always moving forward. Jacqueline would look me in the eye, squeeze my hand and say “Focus, Finish.” I will remember Jacqueline always going ahead before me to make sure there were no Cobras in our path. I will remember us hugging and crying together surrounded by the mountains in the most beautiful place I have ever seen on earth. I will remember us laughing hysterically after we were chased by a bull. 

The Brazil 135 is the most difficult foot race in Brazil, it is run on the hardest, most challenging segment of the Caminho da Fé (Path of Faith or Way of Faith), the most difficult Brazilian pilgrimage path.  The primary objectives of the Caminho da Fé pilgrimage are the experience of moments of reflection and faith through the exercise of walking - the integration of man with nature and with religion.  The Way of Faith is a route marked by yellow arrows and consists of

stretches of dirt roads, asphalt, trails within farms and railroad tracks. It takes, on average, 12 to 15 days to finalize the pilgrimage on foot, or, if you choose to participate in the Brazil 135, you have 60 hours. The course boasts about 30,000 feet of cumulative ascent and 28,000 feet of cumulative descent. With only ten flat miles in the race, by the finish line the runner will have completed a course that is analogous to climbing up and down Mt. Everest.

There were moments of clarity on the Path of Faith that will forever define me. My faith led me to run this race and it’s my faith that saw me through. It’s my faith that I take with me from the mountains of Brazil and it’s my fear of sharing my faith with others that I leave behind. My life is one of a constant seeking of God, but before the Brazil 135 many of my closest friends did not know this about me. It’s an area of my life I have kept private except for those that I have been drawn to share it with. I have never felt comfortable sharing my relationship with God with others. I am always in fear of turning others away from the greatest joy I have ever known. I believe a simple truth and it’s what brought me to run the Brazil 135. I believe Jeremiah 29-13 “If you Seek Me with all your heart and all your soul, you will Find Me.” That is what brought me to Brazil. It’s why I ran my first 100 miler in October. It’s the reason why I run. When I run I feel close to God. In the mountains of Brazil I felt connected to God in ways I have never dreamed but not just in the experience of the race. More so in the people I met. People like Ashley Loucks & Michelle Purcell who were meant to be part of my journey.  I will always remember them praying for me as I began my descent to the finish line and our ride together to the start.  People like Jimmy Dean Freeman who met me on the trail and ran the last five hours or so with me and who has a knack for knowing what you need to hear when you need to hear it. Jimmy gave me his socks off his feet to cover my blisters that were now in Crocs because the pain had become to much for my running shoes. My amazing crew Antonio and Christina who met to my every need and who also became like family to me. Pizza in the middle of nowhere is not easy to find but they found a way. I will remember them always. I will also remember the simple acts of love that moved me so deeply. Like Tony Portera and Jarom Thurston leaving my name in the dirt so close to the end of my journey. A simple gesture such as that will forever be one of the greatest memories of my life. These people and so many more were strangers a week ago but are now in my heart forever and I say with no hesitation that I love them all.

  My name left on the Path of Faith by Jarom Thurston and Tony Portera

 

There are other moments from this experience that I am still processing. Like the giant Bible in the hotel lobby at the finish line opened to the book of Jeremiah and lit beautifully in the window light. The sight of it almost brought me to my  knees.                                      

When I began this journey I thought it may be a test of faith. Possibly to see if I had the courage to attempt what I thought was impossible but knowing for some reason God wanted me there. I thought it might be a lesson in humility and that I would fail miserably. It was somewhere during the race I learned that this experience was a celebration. It was once again me running with my friend. This time we had others along for the journey – something new to me and a new beginning.

So I guess, here I am making an open declaration of my faith and my love of God. There is nothing more important to me. That is my journey. It is one that will never end.

I’d like to end with the first thing I read once my eyes opened after being awake for more than 59 hours and moving forward for 57 of them and 50 minutes. I no longer believe in coincidences and I can never describe what reading these words did to me. But I can say this – God’s greatest joy is our company. It’s our reason for being and it’s a choice. I have made mine and I am moving forward.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move."

Matthew 17:20

Me and my amazing pacer Jacqueline Terto who got me through the race. 

A video of me finishing the race shot by Tony Portera can be seen here.

Acclimate your mind and the rest will follow

I had a wonderful day in Brazil. Nothing excites me more or calms my nerves better than getting creative behind my camera and making pictures. I was able to do that today and it was an incredible stress relief. Back in the day when I first fell in love with making pictures, my wife would call it my shield. I would hide behind it when I was bored, nervous or shy. Today, it was a shield for all three feelings and it worked beautifully. With such wonderful new friends here in Brazil I know I can relax and be myself but the bottom

line is wow … it’s intimidating being here. Listening to some of the stories of these runners is simply awe-inspiring. It’s a glimpse into what every person can accomplish with the right attitude. I am honored to have the opportunity to photograph them. I am humbled to run with them and call them friends. Listening to them talk about why they run for days on end and getting a glimpse into what makes them tick is a real treat. It reminds me of my many friends who I met photographing the MMT 100 and the Grindstone 100 and who got
my mind racing about my own dreams and self made limitations. Ok … so here is an example that I find just simply mind blowing. There are three runners here, probably more I will meet tomorrow, that are not only running the Brazil 135 Mile Ultra Marathon on Saturday but are also running the Arrowhead 135 Mile Ultra Marathon in Minnesota in –38F temperatures FIVE DAYS LATER. I am finally wrapping my brain around the fact that hey, yo, hello, I am here in Brazil and in two days I will be running 135 miles up bigger mountains than I probably have ever seen in heat and horrendous humidity and non-stop rain. They are doing that then going to the other extreme and running 135 miles in –38 temperatures five days later with jet lag. Did I mention they, among others here, are also Badwater 135 Mile finishers?  Have you heard of that race? It’s 135 miles in Death Valley California in temperatures that can reach 130 degrees. It’s so hot your shoes melt to the road. The beauty of it all, to me anyway, is that each and every one of these people are special yes, but also just like you and me. They have day jobs when not out doing what the rest of the world cannot comprehend. They have just realized that they do not have any limits except for the ones we make for ourselves. Anything is possible if you have the courage to try. Anything can be done if you are willing to endure. Who knows? You may just enjoy yourself along the way. I saw a tattoo tonight on a runner’s leg of stars that make a southern cross. It can be seen here in Brazil if you are lucky enough to catch a night without rain this time of year. The first night this runner didn’t see it because it rained all night. So he ran, and ran all day and then saw it while running into the second night of the race. Something about that story moves me. It inspires me. Seeing those stars moved him so deeply he tattooed the memory on his body forever. I can picture him exhausted, but looking up at that cross made of stars and being totally content. Happy. Possibly happier than he has ever been. That’s a moment and I want it as my own.

I have feared this race from the moment I was accepted to run. My hands were shaking and I had tears in my eyes as I loaded my bags into the car that would take me to the airport. I felt nauseous on the plane coming here. I questioned myself endlessly. What makes you think you can do something like this? Well, I’m here in Brazil two days from beginning the journey and the questions are over. I have the answers. Because God loves hanging with me when I run. And because I can.

Brazil 135 ... Here I Come

In about 30 minutes I will be leaving my home for the airport and the long trip to Brazil where I will take on the greatest challenge of my life – the Brazil 135 Mile Ultra Marathon.

I wish I could say the last few weeks leading up to the race have been good to me, but they have not. I have been plagued with fear and self doubt and admit I considered calling it quits more than once. I have felt run down and not at all prepared for the race that is to come. That’s just the way it is.

As I sit here now, I can feel the tide turning. I am about to step off on the greatest adventure of my life and though I don’t feel prepared for what feels like an overwhelming and impossible undertaking I realize that I don’t have to. All I need to do is show up, stand up and run on faith. My running has never been about anything else.

This is the greatest challenge of my life and it will not be easy. In fact, I can’t even begin to comprehend the amount of discomfort I will endure. It’s 135 miles. I have 60 hours to complete. It’s all up or down except for about 10 miles. How did I get here again?

In a time like this I will let the words of my four-year-old daughter carry me out the door when she sings in my Ipod while sleeping quietly down the hall. “Your heart is bigger than the mountain, Daddy.” “Just be like Rocky, go the distance.”

It’s time to find out it if she is right.

Portraits of Sister Mary Beth Lloyd

     A portrait of Sister Mary Beth Lloyd, Morristown, NJ

I had the honor of photographing Sister Mary Beth Lloyd in Morristown, NJ today. Sister Mary Beth devotes her life to God and helping Aids Orphans through the organization Aids Orphans Rising.
I love any charity where 100 percent  of what you donate goes to help children in need. I am offering my photography experience to the organization and I enjoyed teaching Sister Mary Beth Lloyd photography tips and editing her wonderful pictures of needy children from all over the world. She is also an ultra marathon runner! Amazing.

Sister Mary Beth Lloyd was easily one of the most humble people I have ever met. It was very interesting photographing her because she was very camera shy. Here is a person who lives to help others and prefers to have the spotlight directed anywhere but on her. I tried to show that in my pictures today.

Nikon D3, 1600 ISO, window (God) light

Sister Mary Beth Lloyd and I really hit off. I felt like we have known each other forever and I found myself sharing intimate details of my life simply because it felt right. I look forward to many more conversations and a long friendship.

I showed up with my usual car load of Profoto lighting equipment and my bag of Nikon SB-800's but I never pulled them out of the car. The natural light through the big windows was so beautiful I could feel my heart racing just walking around the historical Villa Walsh where the Religious Teachers Filippini reside. I am hoping to photograph more nuns who live here and my head is spinning with the thought of how wonderful this would be for another personal photography project.

Along with my photography, I have also teamed up with Sister Mary Beth Lloyd and others to help needy children in Brazil. I will be running the Brazil 135 Mile Ultra Marathon January 23rd. Here is the race description and what I have to look forward to:

With 135 miles long the Brazil 135 Ultramarathon is considered the most difficult continuous race in Brazil. The course route is on the Mantiqueira Mountains - ( A Sub Range of the Andes Cordillera ). The race was created by Dr. Mario Lacerda an ultrarunner and Badwater Finisher. The race is held on the most difficult segment of the Caminho da Fé - Path of the Faith, - the longest Pilgrimage in Brazil. The Brazil 135 Ultramarathon is part of the BWWC* a initiative of Chris Kostman the president of the American Company AdventureCorps, that promotes the race Badwater Ultramarathon in Death Valley - California.

The course boasts about 30,000 feet of cumulative ascent and 28,000 feet of cumulative descent, and must be completed within 60 hours. With only ten flat miles in the race, by the finish line the runner will have completed a course that is analogous to climbing up and down Mt. Everest.

I am running this race to help raise money to support Casa Nossa, a local mission that serves homeless and low-income girls, helping to educate them, teach them productive skills and keep them off the streets and safe from prostitution, crime and drugs. The funds we raise will pay for the construction of a gymnasium to be used for education and sports activities. Like Aids Orphans Rising  100 percent goes to the construction of the  gymnasium. I will also be photographing the girls at Casa Nossa while in Brazil. If you wish to donate please visit the Team USA site: http://www.brazil135teamusa.com/

If you do donate ... any amount ... please let me know and I will send you a portrait from Brazil.

               Sister Mary Beth Lloyd