Chasing down a dream ... one step at a time

Self portrait at mile 32 of a 40 mile trail run at Jockey Hollow in NJ.

One of my favorite photography assignments has been ultra marathon runners. I can vividly remember standing at the finish line and photographing runners complete the grueling 100 mile course at the Massanutten Mountain Trails 100 Mile run and wondering what that feels like. Not long after, I began a portrait project of ultra marathon runners at mile 0 and then again at mile 100 less than five minutes after crossing the finish line at the Grindstone 100. I was and continue to be fascinated by people who run for such an incredible distance. I have met so many great people in the ultra marathon community. There is something about them that I just can't define. There is something in the eyes of a 100 mile run finisher that began to stir questions inside myself. I was inspired. I wanted to be like them. I questioned if I could be ... and the rest is history, or at least it will be in 20 days when I try to complete the Oil Creek 100 Mile Trail Run.


It was a tough road, or I should say trail, getting here. My training came to a halt many months ago when PFS in my right knee shattered my dream and left me in a funk for the ages. I can remember sitting at my kitchen table and crying like a baby to my wife and feeling like a heel because there are so many worse things in this scary world to cry about. But sometimes dreams are worth crying for. After a few months off without running, I decided to try again. I contacted running coach Lisa Smith-Batchen, one of North America's top endurance athletes, and she agreed to coach me. I had very low expectations of myself when we began. Everyday I waited for the knee to bring my dream to a halt again. But with Lisa's expert coaching, I just kept going, and going and going. The last four months working with Lisa and the support of my family have changed my life. I have no idea how my 100 mile dream will end. I now have confidence and high hopes and I am in the best shape of my life but there are so many variables. I know that I will run my heart out and I will have no regrets.
My training is just about over and my longest training run of 40 miles is behind me as of yesterday. I also left close to 40 pounds of me on the trails over the last four months. I ran in torrential down pours, heat waves, feeling sick, happy, sad, bored, you name it, I ran it. For ultra marathon runners, this is the nature of what they do. It defines many of them. When I began training for my first marathon two short years ago I could not run one mile. Not one. I was diagnosed with the breathing rate of a 96-year-old due to months working at Ground Zero as a photographer following 9/11. But, I ran anyway.


I often say that running on a trail and letting your mind go is a beautiful place to experience things greater than yourself. There is a lot to learn in those lonely hours when your mind slows down and your legs are screaming. It's a great place for relationship building and renewing the most important of all friendships. You never have to speak a word unless you are like me and like to yell your declarations loudly in the forest.


I, like many ultra marathon runners, have been asked many times "Why?"


My answer is, beware, to some, as corny as they come.


To take a shot at what you believe is impossible. To put it on the line. To seek the answers even if you don't know the questions. To have faith enough to know that what you seek you just might find and there is a promise written somewhere important saying it's so.


Everyone once in their lives should have their very own ROCKY story.


This one's mine.

Self portrait on the trail training for my 100 mile ultra marathon.